The Great Communist Federation of North-West Commland is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Grand Premier Chicken with an iron fist, and notable for its digital currency, anti-smoking policies, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.385 billion North-West Commlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hammerst-Sikelgrad-Aug-au-Volga. The average income tax rate is 90.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient North-West Commlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,667 trillion Commelandecoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 261,236 Commelandecoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it, coat closets are being re-branded as bedrooms, adult magazines are having a sales resurgence as internet anonymity disappears, and declaring that "some kids are just born evil" is not endearing Grand Premier Chicken to progressive thinkers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North-West Commland's national animal is the Volgan White Chicken, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Volgan State Religion.

North-West Commland is ranked 277,411^th in the world and 34^th in DogeLand for Most Beautiful Environments, with 6.82 pounds of wildlife per square mile.